15th august 2010

NO MOOD FOR LOVE.... : ) : ( :"(

I guess right now my feelings is all mixed up... I don't know why but maybe I can't help myself from thinking of you.. True enough that I said I'm trying my best to get over all of those memories but I can't... Perhaps,one day but not now...

I'm trying to move on but I guess I should try harder than this...

Until when should I be feeling this way?? 2 to 3yrs down the road?? God,help me to go through all these... Please...

Even though I'm doing great but deep down in my heart,there's still anger that is stucked in between and I end up throwing all of my tantrums to someone else..

I know it's easy for you to get over me because you got someone that is way prettier than me and better than me... Good for you then but why are you being so emo everytime when I looked at your profile?? What's that supposed to mean? So,you're suffering because of her?? Fine.. call me a stalker if you want to because I don't care at all.. All I care about is you... Really...

Even though you've hurt me like countless of times but for goodness sake,I still care soo much about you...

Tell me,how am I supposed to get over everything when all the pain,anger,sadness and fearness is still haunting me??

To be frank,I'm having phobia of falling in love again...

How I wished there's that special guy who can win my heart and make me become a brave person when it comes to love....

All these was because of you.. I blamed you for everything....

'N' level is just around the corner and I'm behaving this way...

Trust me,when it comes to studies,I'll be really focused but when I'm sitting alone and listening to music that makes me reminiscing those moments that I had with you,my mood will suddenly changed...

Just because of that,I don't feel like talking to anyone or even my family members....

Is this still not enough with what you've did to me??

It feels so terrible!

Though,it has been so long that I rolled my tears for you...

That's because,I want to regain my self-confidence and I don't want to be weak just because I'm a girl....

Now,I realised how much you really want her in your life and the way you treat her is way too nice.... Great for you...

Easy for you to find a replacement huh??

What kind of human being are you??

Hate? Love? Whatever!=.=

1) You were in love with me.

2)I accepted you for who you are.

3)I asked for a break up because I'm not ready.

4)We were soo close like more than just friends.

5)After 1yr plus,I got to know you lied to me.

6)We fought but four days later,I texted you and gave you the second chance.

7)I thought you're the one.

8)As months passed by,you've changed tremendously.

9)I'm hurt by you.. really...

10)We wanted to separate but we got back with each other again.

11)I really thought we were meant for each other.

12)We quarelled a lot.

13)I got to know you found someone new when we were still close.

14)I asked you to make your choice and you chose her.

15)I suffered a lot. I got bullied by your friends through the cyber world.

16)No apology from you still. I waited but there's no words that come out from

your mouth.

17)As months passed by,it's killing me in the inside.

18)I cried every single day.

19)2mths later,I hold onto these tears because I'm stronger than before.

20)Right now,I'm even stronger but it seems that our memories keep haunting me.

When will all these end??

When will I stop thinking of you??

You're gone! And I'm trying not to keep on holding back into the past....

As a human being,all I can do is to pray to God and hope that my life will be fine... : ) : (

I still remember the last moments that we spent time together...

You know,from the look in your eyes,I know you've been hiding something from me but I just refused to asked you...

I was reluctant to even let go of your hand but because you told me that you loved me,I let go and all I could do was to look at you from the back when you walked away....

Maybe that was really our last time to be together...

Hope,you're doing fine right now...

You know,sometimes I'm here for you but what's the used?? You already have someone who is way prettier and beautiful than me...

Whatever it is,good luck!

Thanks for hurting me soo bad.... =.=