17th November 2010

It's because I hate guys! I swear!

Lately,I've changed and I realised that. You know the feeling when you got dumped for a few times and all you do is to avoid yourself from falling in love again. Maybe,I'm wrong to be acting that way but I have my own reasons why I'm in love with someone that I'm not supposed to.

Only my bestfriend knows what I'm going through. It's because her,I've come to a decision not to fall in love with  somebody. But too bad,it just happened. Hopefully,this feelings will come and go. I'm sorry Fida. At times,I asked myself why guys keep hurting girls??? I just don't get it.

I'll not fall in love with any guys anymore. No guys in my life except for Hairul and some of my boyfriends. I hate getting dumped and the part which I hate the most is getting over them.

I've been holding back the pain,anger and whatever bullshit! I don't need a guy who have to kiss me on my forehead! I don't need a guy who will accompany me everywhere I go! I just need my FAMILY and Friends... I hate guys! I hate guys! I hate guys! They're just a pain in the ASS! 

Fuck them! SEE! Since,things have been too complicated,I'll just ignore whatever love shit!

I want to be strong and I know I am. I want him to know that I CAN LIVE WITHOUT HIM!

You said you didn't left me???!!! Fuck off!! *pointing middle finger!

You left me,you dumped me and now,you're not admitting that it was your fault!!!

Hell yeah! If that's the way you treated me,I'll just cursed and swear that your relationship will be a disaster! Happy??!! I'm not trying to be rude but that's what you'll get for treating me like shit! I'm not jealous or whatever! I SWEAR! If you think that you're satisfied to have her by your side,listen here! KARMA'S A BITCH! GOT THAT! _l_! For goodness sake,I'm just asking you to do one simple thing and you're making a big fuss out of it... So much for calling yourself a friend of him... Whatever! One more nonsense I get from your friends or you,watch out!

I'll make a report! Fucker! Good enough that I'm not hating you and now I'm hating you like 1000000000000 times more than ever! If I know all kinds of harsh vocabulary,I'm going to use it! You said that you're busy this and that??!! Eh,Businessman is it?!! Idiot!! Bye!

I'm off! I wished you will read this or whoever that is closed to him.

You're my biggest mistake! DUMBASS! 

Nothing's IMPOSSIBLE! 

I'll get myself over you and I'm not going to waste my time on somebody like you! 

CHOW! F.Y.I,I've changed! I'm not the SYAZA you used to know. 

13th November 2010

My Best Friend Is AWESOME! <3

Hey People! : P.. 

Yesterday was a blast. I had a lot of fun with that guy in the those pictures.

He's Hairul and he treated me almost everything and I should consider myself a very lucky girl because he was the first guy who treated me that much. 

Basically,if I were to talk and describe every single thing in Universal Studio,it will be pathethic because I can even write it as my composition. Everyone should go there because there's a lot to explore and play. 

Though,I missed a show and I regret for missing it. My friend told me that it was a great show. Nevermind,there's always next time. : D. For the first time,I didn't have to fake a smile because Hairul has naturally  turn my smile into a real one. For once,he made me happy. And for once,he is the guy who really treasure our friendship. I'm trying not to make a big deal out of it but I'm trying to let you know that I'm Happy.. : ) Perhaps,you left and dumped me for GOOD...  : )

If you think that I'm falling in love with him,then that's good for you. I really wished you will read my blog oftenly. The truth is I'm unlike you who played around with a girl feelings. Well,I'm satisfied now. Not in a mood to talk about you. So yeah.. I spent the whole day with Hairul and I just can't describe the feeling of having a best friend who lives in Ang Mo Kio sending me back home all the way to Jurong West. I was really touched by everything that he had done for me. But,I hope he will not expect anything in return ... : )

9th november 2010

A TRUE Friend stays with you even when you're falling apart.

Lately,I've been thinking about random stuffs which will only make me go crazy.

I don't know why but I kept asking myself with questions like 'What if...?? Why? When??.. You see,all these incomplete questions are even running through my mind right now. Maybe,I'm still wondering why he left me and why my dreams became a real one. Gosh! Seriously,I'm going to be insane soon. Apart from all those stupid questions,I've been trying to hold everything to myself and I'm trying my best to be patient. Like seriously,I've changed. I don't know in what way but probably it was because of him that I've changed or I was wrong to blame him but too bad,all these happened because I don't want people to take advantage of me and end up ruining my life. Well,people changed so why not me right? I'm changing for the better and also my future. I don't want to get myself into relationship which will only hurt me deeply. I want happiness. Who doesn't want it anyway?? Everybody wants happiness but the only key to it,is to have patience. This means that,you really have to go through a tough time to be happy. : )

Basically,life is hard and all you can do is to endure with the pain and tell yourself that no matter what happens,'Life goes on.' Easier said than done huh? Yes,it's true that when you're falling apart,all you think of  is giving up on everything but at one point of time,you'll come to realise that things happened for a reason and in fact all you want is for 'miracle' to happen. And it's obvious that I'm talking about love and stuff. It's quite irony when someone whom you really want to hate becomes the person that you loved the most. Well,all these is really common. Perhaps,I'm referring to the girls and IDK about the boys. It's hard to find someone who can really treasure you. pfft.. =.=.

Single life is AWESOME but you'll feel lonely at times. Though,at the very least,you won't get into stupid arguments. : )

Being in a relationship is the toughest thing as you really need to have commitments and you have to endure with everything. Plus,you'll even quarrel over small things. But the pros of  it ,is that you are able to share your love and you'll be like most happiest person on earth when he/she is by your side. : )

So,the moral of the story is to just live a single life until you really know what love is all about. : )

5th november 2010

Katharine McPhee - Had It All

5th November 2010

5th November 2010

I MISS EVERYTHING & EVERYONE!

From school life to social life and love life! Well,I miss wearing that uniform of mine and I miss my GIRLFRIENDS especially! Not forgetting,I miss the scoldings and naggings of my teachers.... Gosh! I've to wait until 17th December just to meet my teachers and to also take my results. Anyway,I can't wait for 12th and 14th november to come,as I'll be going to Universal Studio and Marina Barrage to fly kite... : ) I'm pretty much excited about everything.. That's weird..

Love life? Yeah,at times I miss saying 'I love you' randomly to a guy,I miss having a guy who will lend me his shoulders when I'm down and a guy who will hug me tightly whenever he's obsessed with me. I miss those times when a guy will wipe my tears and kiss me on the forehead. I miss those moments when I walked away from him feeling very angry and what he did was running after me.

It doesn't matter about who is the guy that I'm referring to but what matters the most is that my feelings for him WILL NOT CHANGE even for a second. Trust me,he's the best that I ever had and only me who knows what is written deep in my heart. If one day,you found me with my new love,I'm sorry because my future love will be the person who has managed to capture my heart and replace you. I'll move on but you don't have to worry because I'll remember you until my last breath. : )

I miss you Boy! I really do! If you happened to read this,then I would like to say that no matter where you are,who you are with or whatever you're doing,I'll always remember that you have showered me with your love and care...

I don't know if all these while,'HAVE YOU EVER MISS ME?' I guess you don't... It's okay. As long as I can see that your smile is shining brightly,I'll be grateful for that because it basically means that you're happy being with someone else and I'm proud to know that.. : )

Last but not least,I MISS MY REAL SMILE because I've been faking it... : )

*I'm not looking for a man but I'm searching for the LOVE from a man...

25th october 2010