'11th december 2010

Okay,I know that my blog is really dead and I'm sorry about it.

It is due to the break down of my computer and laptop charger. Right now,I'm using my 2nd sis computer. wow! at least,I can update something here.

Life have been filled with dramas. People keep finding trouble and I'm getting pissed off so easily nowadays. I'm not sure why but I guess too many problems for me to handle with.

I know this is life and nothing comes easily,not even happiness.

I've been acting very weird towards some people and I just don't know why. People changed,so do I.

I'm hating guys. I mean most but not for some.

Sorry,but I think my heart isn't ready for love. When people talk about love,I'll tend to avoid it and act like love doesnt exist. Thanks to the jerks in my past aite.

As for now,I'll just put all that aside and enjoy my life with my friends.

I don't need anymore heartbreaks.

I'm loving my life even when I'm going through all those shits.

I just got to accept it and go with the flow.

Whatever it is,I'm never going to give up.

'N'level results will be out 6 more day s and hopefully I'll get through this. : )

Yesterday,was a great day day as I had my malay class bbq but we invited some outsiders. So yeah,there was drama going on when I reached home and this jerk started to post something about the BBQ. Fuck off kay! Kau tak sentuh itu pit,kau duduk diam-diam dekat tepi pun cantik.

Okay,chow people! gtg! : )

22th November 2010

LET'S PARTY! : D

Wow! Problems here and there. I was lucky that He settled everything with me. Such a relieved and I feel much better as compared to yesterday. So,it's the beginning of the week and I shall start it with a lot of excitement.

WTH! I was halfway updating my blog and there's this particular girl send me fb message and trying to find trouble. What's up with you? Asal kau terase siol?

I was correcting his mistakes. Whatever.. I won't entertain people like you. Such a waste of time. Okay back to my story,hmm.. today was kind bored but I managed to spent my time by sleeping almost the whole day plus doing laundries. haha! 

I don't know what else to type here because I'm in a party mood and how I wish I can go clubbing. But,too bad,I don't think my family would agree with that. Nvermind,maybe when I'm 21,I'll do such things. : ) Okay peeps! Chow! I can't stand it when she wanted to argued with me but end up talking to herself. I can be a bitch if you want to. : P

Superman - Joe Brooks (w/ lyrics)

Maher Zain - The Chosen One | ماهر زين - المختار

20th NOVEMBER 2010

So much for calling yourself my Friend.

You see,I don't mind if you're ignoring me for a valid reason. But hell yeah! You're still contacting with her?? What's up with you boy?? What has gone into your mind??

You left me aside and you're happily entertaining her.

Just STFU! Don't call yourself my bestfriend when you're just using me and ignoring me for some stupid reasons. Fuck off!

I know I should be the one texting you in the first place but well,I'm busy too??! How nice can my reasons be??! ASS! 

It's up to you and It's your choice who you want to be with or what you want to do.

Seriously,there's no harm if you ignore her text and calls what?! Why?! You're still in love with her? Oh okay,Whatever it is, please mean what you say before saying stuff like,'No,I don't love her anymore.' It's pathetic and I swear that your words are lies.

You know,these days,I've been wanting to share my problems to someone but I just don't know who. i know I have a bestfriend(Fida) but at times,not everything I can share to her. 

And to you boy,Where were you when I needed you the most?! 

Bullshit! This is why I hate guys!

If you're sincere to be my friend or whatever shit,you don't have to ignore me just for the sake of HER! 

I'm pissed off!

I guess,I've not been praying for quite sometime and I just can't find myself at ease.

Starting from today,I'm going to change. Change in my attitude.

Btw,to that someone,I know you have a boyfriend but you know,I wanted to talk to you about my problems but it seems that you're ignoring me too.

You're never sincere to be my friend and I'm sorry. I've deleted your number and I guess that's the best for me to stop with my nonsense with you. 

See,FRIENDS? what's that supposed to mean? 

They only come to you when they need someone to talk to and they'll leave you once they found happiness. I don't care! I'm going to ignore everything and just be myself.

I won't let your words bring me down and I'll stay strong like I've always did.

I'll try to be at the peak of the mountain where everything seems fine and you won't be able to know what's happening down there. 

At times,I feel like migrating. I want to be far away from everyone except for my beloved people. If all these happened for a reason,then I'll accept it and walk away like as if it was never a problem to me. 

You know how painful it is,for me to know that you're ignoring me and you know how much I wanted you to be by my side so badly.

But well,I didn't cry and this just means that it's too painful that I can't let this tears out.

Whatever! This is my world and I know Allah is there for me.

I don't need you people to treat me like shit. Thanks! Chow! 

19th November 2010

PROM NIGHT BABY!!!

So,yesterday was AWESOME! <3.>

More pictures on facebook has been uploaded.

Well,all thanks to my 2nd sis for transforming me into a lady. : ).

haha! But I still love the nerdy side of me. That's just me,NERDY! : D.

Who cares if you people want to criticise me?? It's not like you people are PERFECT or something... Oh,PLEASE... Dream on...

Btw,I'm going to start bitching about you and him.

Eh,listen here ah. I'm not accusing him okay. I'm stating the facts! And to you bitch,you better back off because you have got nothing to do in this matter even if you're his GF! I didn't even blame you,so yeah,fuck off! 

Okay back to yesterday,me and my dearest bestfriend were late for Prom and I guess we were the last to reach there. : P. Anyway,thanks for the compliments people. I mean my fb friends. : D.

Oh,not to forget,I've managed not to look at his profile for three fcuking days! woohoo! Life's great people! Okay! Chow! : D

17th November 2010

I'll not be the girl who will easily fall in love with Bastards! 

I'll not let guys take advantage of me!

I'll not be nice to them if their hobby is hurting people's heart!

I'll not entertain any bullshit!

I'll not view his BORING profile!

I'll hate guys who come and go easily!

If you want a good-looking girl,ladylight,sexy and whatever shit,You can fcuk off from my life because I'm just me! I'm sporty,not pretty at all but at least I don't play around with people's heart.

I'll make sure that the next guy who enters my life be the last one.I'll make sure that you're really sincere towards me and you respect me. If not,I'll kick your ass ! Got that! 

Like I told you people,I've changed! 

And to my FUTURE LOVE:

'Please do not hurt me like those bastards did to me.I had enough of heartbreaks and I swear I'll love you with all my heart. I'll treasure you and I'll not take you for granted.' 

I LOVE You MY FUTURE LOVER!! : )

Miley Cyrus Medley - Christina Grimmie (By Kurt Schneider)

17th November 2010

It's because I hate guys! I swear!

Lately,I've changed and I realised that. You know the feeling when you got dumped for a few times and all you do is to avoid yourself from falling in love again. Maybe,I'm wrong to be acting that way but I have my own reasons why I'm in love with someone that I'm not supposed to.

Only my bestfriend knows what I'm going through. It's because her,I've come to a decision not to fall in love with  somebody. But too bad,it just happened. Hopefully,this feelings will come and go. I'm sorry Fida. At times,I asked myself why guys keep hurting girls??? I just don't get it.

I'll not fall in love with any guys anymore. No guys in my life except for Hairul and some of my boyfriends. I hate getting dumped and the part which I hate the most is getting over them.

I've been holding back the pain,anger and whatever bullshit! I don't need a guy who have to kiss me on my forehead! I don't need a guy who will accompany me everywhere I go! I just need my FAMILY and Friends... I hate guys! I hate guys! I hate guys! They're just a pain in the ASS! 

Fuck them! SEE! Since,things have been too complicated,I'll just ignore whatever love shit!

I want to be strong and I know I am. I want him to know that I CAN LIVE WITHOUT HIM!

You said you didn't left me???!!! Fuck off!! *pointing middle finger!

You left me,you dumped me and now,you're not admitting that it was your fault!!!

Hell yeah! If that's the way you treated me,I'll just cursed and swear that your relationship will be a disaster! Happy??!! I'm not trying to be rude but that's what you'll get for treating me like shit! I'm not jealous or whatever! I SWEAR! If you think that you're satisfied to have her by your side,listen here! KARMA'S A BITCH! GOT THAT! _l_! For goodness sake,I'm just asking you to do one simple thing and you're making a big fuss out of it... So much for calling yourself a friend of him... Whatever! One more nonsense I get from your friends or you,watch out!

I'll make a report! Fucker! Good enough that I'm not hating you and now I'm hating you like 1000000000000 times more than ever! If I know all kinds of harsh vocabulary,I'm going to use it! You said that you're busy this and that??!! Eh,Businessman is it?!! Idiot!! Bye!

I'm off! I wished you will read this or whoever that is closed to him.

You're my biggest mistake! DUMBASS! 

Nothing's IMPOSSIBLE! 

I'll get myself over you and I'm not going to waste my time on somebody like you! 

CHOW! F.Y.I,I've changed! I'm not the SYAZA you used to know. 

13th November 2010

My Best Friend Is AWESOME! <3

Hey People! : P.. 

Yesterday was a blast. I had a lot of fun with that guy in the those pictures.

He's Hairul and he treated me almost everything and I should consider myself a very lucky girl because he was the first guy who treated me that much. 

Basically,if I were to talk and describe every single thing in Universal Studio,it will be pathethic because I can even write it as my composition. Everyone should go there because there's a lot to explore and play. 

Though,I missed a show and I regret for missing it. My friend told me that it was a great show. Nevermind,there's always next time. : D. For the first time,I didn't have to fake a smile because Hairul has naturally  turn my smile into a real one. For once,he made me happy. And for once,he is the guy who really treasure our friendship. I'm trying not to make a big deal out of it but I'm trying to let you know that I'm Happy.. : ) Perhaps,you left and dumped me for GOOD...  : )

If you think that I'm falling in love with him,then that's good for you. I really wished you will read my blog oftenly. The truth is I'm unlike you who played around with a girl feelings. Well,I'm satisfied now. Not in a mood to talk about you. So yeah.. I spent the whole day with Hairul and I just can't describe the feeling of having a best friend who lives in Ang Mo Kio sending me back home all the way to Jurong West. I was really touched by everything that he had done for me. But,I hope he will not expect anything in return ... : )

9th november 2010

A TRUE Friend stays with you even when you're falling apart.

Lately,I've been thinking about random stuffs which will only make me go crazy.

I don't know why but I kept asking myself with questions like 'What if...?? Why? When??.. You see,all these incomplete questions are even running through my mind right now. Maybe,I'm still wondering why he left me and why my dreams became a real one. Gosh! Seriously,I'm going to be insane soon. Apart from all those stupid questions,I've been trying to hold everything to myself and I'm trying my best to be patient. Like seriously,I've changed. I don't know in what way but probably it was because of him that I've changed or I was wrong to blame him but too bad,all these happened because I don't want people to take advantage of me and end up ruining my life. Well,people changed so why not me right? I'm changing for the better and also my future. I don't want to get myself into relationship which will only hurt me deeply. I want happiness. Who doesn't want it anyway?? Everybody wants happiness but the only key to it,is to have patience. This means that,you really have to go through a tough time to be happy. : )

Basically,life is hard and all you can do is to endure with the pain and tell yourself that no matter what happens,'Life goes on.' Easier said than done huh? Yes,it's true that when you're falling apart,all you think of  is giving up on everything but at one point of time,you'll come to realise that things happened for a reason and in fact all you want is for 'miracle' to happen. And it's obvious that I'm talking about love and stuff. It's quite irony when someone whom you really want to hate becomes the person that you loved the most. Well,all these is really common. Perhaps,I'm referring to the girls and IDK about the boys. It's hard to find someone who can really treasure you. pfft.. =.=.

Single life is AWESOME but you'll feel lonely at times. Though,at the very least,you won't get into stupid arguments. : )

Being in a relationship is the toughest thing as you really need to have commitments and you have to endure with everything. Plus,you'll even quarrel over small things. But the pros of  it ,is that you are able to share your love and you'll be like most happiest person on earth when he/she is by your side. : )

So,the moral of the story is to just live a single life until you really know what love is all about. : )

5th november 2010

Katharine McPhee - Had It All

5th November 2010

5th November 2010

I MISS EVERYTHING & EVERYONE!

From school life to social life and love life! Well,I miss wearing that uniform of mine and I miss my GIRLFRIENDS especially! Not forgetting,I miss the scoldings and naggings of my teachers.... Gosh! I've to wait until 17th December just to meet my teachers and to also take my results. Anyway,I can't wait for 12th and 14th november to come,as I'll be going to Universal Studio and Marina Barrage to fly kite... : ) I'm pretty much excited about everything.. That's weird..

Love life? Yeah,at times I miss saying 'I love you' randomly to a guy,I miss having a guy who will lend me his shoulders when I'm down and a guy who will hug me tightly whenever he's obsessed with me. I miss those times when a guy will wipe my tears and kiss me on the forehead. I miss those moments when I walked away from him feeling very angry and what he did was running after me.

It doesn't matter about who is the guy that I'm referring to but what matters the most is that my feelings for him WILL NOT CHANGE even for a second. Trust me,he's the best that I ever had and only me who knows what is written deep in my heart. If one day,you found me with my new love,I'm sorry because my future love will be the person who has managed to capture my heart and replace you. I'll move on but you don't have to worry because I'll remember you until my last breath. : )

I miss you Boy! I really do! If you happened to read this,then I would like to say that no matter where you are,who you are with or whatever you're doing,I'll always remember that you have showered me with your love and care...

I don't know if all these while,'HAVE YOU EVER MISS ME?' I guess you don't... It's okay. As long as I can see that your smile is shining brightly,I'll be grateful for that because it basically means that you're happy being with someone else and I'm proud to know that.. : )

Last but not least,I MISS MY REAL SMILE because I've been faking it... : )

*I'm not looking for a man but I'm searching for the LOVE from a man...

25th october 2010

25th October 2010

FOREVER??? Well,nothing last forever...

I really feel like blogging today,so yeah... 

During the weekends,I slept over at my 2nd sister house... It was fun! : )

We watched some movies that my sister rented and we really talked a lot of craps...

I've been wanting to blog about my feelings but I don't think it's appropriate to do so and it's because that I've promised myself to be happy-go-lucky.... : )

So yeah... Anyway,I find that my holidays is occupied by housework and this was what I want... Becoming a part time maid.... Nevermind, at least I'm keeping myself busy... So,tomorrow,I'll be meeting two of my childhood friends and on Wednesday,I'll be heading to Queensway with my friends...

Not to forget,today will be the first 'O' levels paper and so ALL THE BEST TO PEOPLE WHO ARE TAKING IT... : )

Okay,in less than a month it will be my prom night.. I'm soo excited for it... haha!

Anyway,'N' level results will be on 17th December,I'm getting nervous people...

Let's just pray and hope that I'm able to make it to sec 5... : )

Life goes on even though at times,you feel like your past was the best thing but getting over your past and moving on is part of learning and letting you know that things will not always go as what you're expecting it to be... Therefore,I'm going to get over everything in my past slowly... I know I can make it because patience is what you need... : )

25th October 2010

\

If he is stupid enough to walk away,be smart enough to let him go... : )

Yeah,it's obvious that my blog is dead... I don't know.. I'll just update my blog when I feel like it... So yeah.. Okay,life has been great... 

It seems that I'm handling everything on my own...

Nowadays,I've been doing a lot of housework and I go out quite often with my friends or I either sleepover at my 2nd sis house...

Since I didn't get any job,my 1st sis decided to offer me a job.. haha!! Part time maid.. Okay whatever! At least,I earned $100 per month... 

Yesterday,was a tiring day for me...

I went to Bugis with my 2nd sis,my niece and nephew... I went there just to look for my prom dress,shoes and accessories... I think my shoe size is abnormal... Wherever I go,there's always no size for me or its either no more stock.. my height is 157cm and my shoe size is 9 for a single digit and 41 to 42 for a double digit... Annoying man.. Nevermind,I should be thankful that I'm still born with a pair of legs.. : )

Lately,I've been doing my own thing... I even borrowed a library book. haha!! 

I'm lazy to think of whatever love shit.. It doesn't make sense at all because I'm still a teenager who should be having fun instead of getting hurt and so on...

Oh yes! I'm looking forward to prom night which is on 18th November... 

And not to forget,I'll be going Universal Studio with Mr Hairul the Irritating shit on the 12th November! hahahaha!! He's annoying but I treasure our friendship a lot

.. : ) Well,I wasn't expecting that he's going to treat me to Universal Studio... I was kind of shocked... 

Okay,I'm excited for it!! Let's end it here... I've nothing much to say.. : )

*I hope you really accept my apology ... I don't want you to be a jerk again okay...

If you're happy with her,then it's your problem.. I'm here to settle my wrong doings towards you.. After this,you will know nothing about me okay... Fuck off! 

Ne-Yo - One In A Million

13th october 2010

Let's get WILD and PARTY!!

Well,life's been quite tough... There's nothing that we can do to avoid all the problems that we're facing.. We can only handle it and solve it.

Afterall,that's life... It's about testing your patience.

But as you know,at times we can't tolerate with everything that is happening around us. There are moments when you feel like saying FML.. 

What's the use of saying that when you're not even doing something but instead trying to make your life miserable.

Moving on in life is easy but forgetting something that has happened in your past is never easy at all. I know that I'm strong enough to handle with this and ALLAH is always there for me... There are times when all you could feel is just the pain that you can't describe but ALLAH knows better what our life will be like...

I know that the more challenges you face,the stronger you'll become and the more patience you have,it will lead to the happiness that we want, all this while...

Things happened for  a reason but you'll never know the reason why it happened...

In fact,all you know is that,there are better things ahead for you and a better person that will treasure you...

Well,as for now,i've nothing much to say but to pray that things will work out between me and him.. I don't want to lose my another bestfriend again...

I want to treasure our friendship as it has been 2yrs plus we've known each other... : )

Right now,I want to occupy my time by working,party with friends and enjoy every moment of my life.. : D